Question: How Are You REALLY Doing?

And a holiday wish for you

This will read a bit differently than my typical posts. Based on the current mood of our nation, however, I felt compelled to write it. It’s fair to say that a lot of us are not quite ourselves. I’m seeing it, and maybe you are, too. Joy seems to be at a premium these days.

It’s tough not to be affected by the state of our nation and our world, at the hatred so easily perpetrated on others, at the ignorance of truth and facts, the constant rage, the drama and pretenses, the subversion of due process, and the lust for power at any cost.

The toxicity of social media has reduced us to objects instead of feeling, thinking multi-dimensional human beings. We mistake hashtagging with genuine advocacy and charity. We mindlessly scroll from one issue to another, numbed by the overwhelm of it all. I can’t fathom what it must be like to raise children in this environment.

Our political landscape is toxic. Our leaders have, too often, betrayed us; and their decisions are having real-world consequences locally, domestically and geopolitically.

Our limited human brains aren’t designed to absorb this amount of negativity, information overload, and non-stop disaster at this level of warp speed. Complicating matters is that our vital traditional foundations (faith, a strong family unit, patriotism, service to others) have been severely compromised. Young people, especially, have less to cling to than many of us had growing up. And that is a sad state of affairs.

Fixing this mess will require us to be in top condition, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Here’s my general advice, which is mostly honed from personal experience. Please feel free to take what you need and leave the rest. Each of us is unique; what works for me may not be a good fit for you.

First Things First

We’re not good to anyone, and we’re certainly not in a position to solve problems if we’re living in a constant state of anger, sadness, and overwhelm. So don’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself first.

What are some ways to take good care of yourself?

Surround yourself with people you love and take care of each other. Cultivate meaningful relationships. To me, a friend is different than an acquaintance, colleague, or social media pal. A friend is someone whom I can call at 3:00AM if I’m ever in a jam. Genuine friends are rare.

Find activities that cultivate joy, whether it’s discovering a good book, watching an old movie, skiing, crafting, learning to scuba dive, whale watching, or strengthening your relationship with God.

If you’re at the point where you’ve reached deep despair, please don’t be ashamed to reach out for help. We need you!

Life is about so much more than politics (which most certainly effects us in very real ways), conflicts, and drama. Keeping informed is indeed important. What’s toxic, is letting the news overwhelm us to the point where we become despondent.

Focus on a Select Number of Things

My other bit of advice (which has worked well for me) is to focus on one or two ways where you can make a genuine difference. I say this as someone who has, on more than one occasion, spread herself too thin. Trying to take on too many projects and reacting to every piece of news that crosses my desk has only ever ended in frustration. Focusing on one or two issues, it turns out, is better for my state of grace and for the causes I care about.

While so many events and decisions are out of our control, there’s also a lot we can be doing to make our country, our planet, and our communities a better place.

A byproduct is that in the process, we’ll improve our own sense of well-being. This can’t be stressed enough. Ruminating doesn’t do a blessed thing to solve problems. It does lead to feelings of powerless, despondency, and sadness. When prolonged and unchecked, these emotions can lead to bigger health problems.

Places Where You Can Make a Real Difference

Not certain where to begin? It’s simple in theory: identify an issue you care about, then find a way to make a difference. There’s so much need out there, so much pain, so identifying a cause shouldn’t be difficult.

If you’re still uncertain, here are some ideas to jumpstart the process. I’ve included both police-related and non-police causes to get involved with.

I’d love to know if any of these appeal to you. : )

• Help fundraise for protective vests for police K-9s. The National Police Dog Foundation is always seeking volunteers to help staff events and for online administrative work.
  

• Help pay off the mortgages of fallen first responders. Tunnels for Towers and the First Responders Outreach of the Gary Sinise Foundation welcome volunteers to host fundraising events.
  

• The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund need people to volunteer for National Police Week events. You might also want to consider working with state legislators to create a law enforcement license plate program that benefits the families of fallen officers.
  

• Lobby for meaningful police legislation.
  

• Foster shelter dogs in your home. Or raise much-needed funds for your favorite animal rescue.
  

• Get involved at your place of worship. The Catholic church I belonged to in Chicago offered a ton of ways for parishioners to get involved, from singing in the choir to helping needy community members.
  

• Help your neighbors. There are people in our own communities who need our time and unique gifts. Volunteering at the local food bank, creating care packages for our neighbors in need, and working to ensure all veterans have homes, are meaningful acts.

I’d love to learn about the ways you’re contributing. I know you’re out there. : )

What Are You Reading?

Speaking of wellness, I’m currently on chapter four of Building a Non-Anxious Life, by Dr. John Delony. In it, he addresses the epidemic of unchecked anxiety plaguing our nation; and he does it without pretenses.

Here’s an excerpt.

“In this new world of everything all at once, we’ve missed the mark about how to respond. We don’t know what the elusive “good life” even looks like anymore. Consequently, the things we’ve been doing to reduce or resolve our anxiety aren’t working. Instead of freeing us to thrive like we’d hoped, our efforts often aren’t even keeping our heads above water. We’re putting band-aids over bullet holes. No wonder things feel like they’re coming apart.”

It’s my hope that this post provided you with some solace and inspiration, to let you know you’re not alone. The next issue is due after Christmas. It will reflect on what we’ve got done this past year for police officers, and take a peek at plans and priorities for 2024.

As perilous as our current situation is, there’s always hope. As long as good people care enough to make a difference, we can get through this. Believe it!

Wishing you peace, love, and all the blessings of the holidays.

Best. : )

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For the Blue is a solutions-based initiative. I’m just an American patriot asking questions. I don’t work with any political party and I answer to nobody. For me, the health of the nation, due process (including for police officers), the rule of law, and respect for individual liberties, will always transcend party affiliation. I welcome your thoughts, even if you disagree; though personal attacks will be ignored. You can reach me at fortheblue@substack.com.